“You instilled a sense of fear within your kin, and chose to continue the cycle of criminalizing, and humiliating Black children. I will disrupt that cycle, and I stand by those words.”
Content Warning: Mentions of suicide and self-harm, and descriptions of ableism and anti-Blackness.
To my relative who called the police,
When I was 12 years old, you and mom gave me “the talk” to survive encounters with the police.
3 months after you told me as a Black child that I am more likely to be arrested and incarcerated, you decided to call for my execution,
By calling the police when I was a danger to myself and not to you,
And you told them that you “feared for your life.”
You left me in a room alone with two armed white male cops, who told me, “he called us because he loves you and wants you to be safe.“
By saying that I’m “rewriting history,” and that “it doesn’t matter because it’s in the past,” you erase how you traumatized me to this day
from the times you found your items more worthy of protection than me,
The times you continued to intimidate me with the decision you have made during the lowest point in my life,
The times you recorded videos of yourself screaming or laughing at me during my worst moments, and took pictures while you taunted me during my suicide attempts,
The times you told me to “quit acting like a child” and I screamed back that I really was a child.
Even though you tell me to “be more forgiving,” and bragged to me about how much you’ve grown from the pain that you put me through,
you allowed so-called mental health professionals to demonize me and rob me of the room to grow from my mistakes
Throughout the rest of my childhood, you followed the advise of these so-called mental health professionals who demonized me while asking me to relive my past,
By calling my mental health crises a “tantrum,” and calling me a “thug,” a “hooligan,” and a “criminal,”
Supporting your decision to call the police on a 12-year-old Black girl having mental health crisis and calling it “perfectly normal,”
saying to my face that I deserved everything you put me through because I was “doing something to threaten you.”
and saying, “if you act like a criminal, you deserve to be treated like one.”
By putting my Black life under attack in the name of “teaching me a lesson.”
The same way the world demonized and criminalized you when you were a Black child,
You instilled a sense of fear within your kin, and chose to continue the cycle of criminalizing and humiliating Black children.
I will disrupt that cycle, and I stand by those words.