Slipping into My Pre-Pandemic Pants


By Riss Clark •

Marissa reflects on her body’s change during the pandemic. (Sep. 2020)

I can’t look in the mirror anymore 

because I don’t want to see myself.

My face is tired. 

My eyes are weary and 

my bags tell a sad story at 23. 

My smile? Nonexistent. 

My cheeks are so round, 

my arms feel heavy, and 

my thighs  jiggle

more than usual as 

I try to slip into my 

pre-pandemic pants.  

I am a fraud. 

I preach self-love, and I 

tell others that look like me

that they are beautiful 

and worthy of love.

I say weight does not 

determine your worth.

However, as I look into the mirror,

I can’t stop the insults.

I can’t stop the self-hate.

I can’t stop the anger. 

I hate me. 

Riss is passionate about creating safe spaces for QTBIPOC. She is also passionate about evolving in her actions, language, and advocacy efforts (for all).

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Black Feminist Collective is an intergenerational group that stands for Black liberation in its entirety, centering the voices of Black feminists and womanists.

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