By Sinenhlanhla londiwe Meyiwa Magcaba • 

My name resides in shabby conformation

I take a few steps but then

Fail to find the strength to face them

Spank! I feel a hand on my bum

I turn to shriek but words do not come out of my mouth

Words have always failed me

I cover my body in thick robes

For the world I live in 

There are slurs at women who express their womanhood

I wore a bum short and they called me isifebe

I wore thick robes and still got raped

Kanti what is a woman to do around here

I cry alone and slit my wrists while doing it

But unfortunately I do not die

But the pain is enough 

To fuel my desire for vengeance

Then saturday comes and my mom asks me

To come to church with

But why would I do that

Because god has failed me

I pray in silence and hope my prayers

Are good enough to be answered

I hope these tears I cry 

Will form the ocean that you will drown in

I hope you choke on my tears

And taste the saltiness of my hatred

For you have wronged me

And I hope you never enjoy another day on this earth

Sinenhlanhla londiwe Meyiwa Magcaba is a depressed sexual violence survivor and aspiring writer who wants to change the Black community’s beliefs and norms explicitly through her writings.

Thank you for subscribing! Look out for new published work every Saturday

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.